Hawthorn Presbyterian Church

What Sort of Family Do You Live For?

[first published in the monthly congregational Notes, for September, 2018.]

It is surprising, but still encouraging, that in this age of apparent gender confusion we still had Fathers’ Day as a special event this year. Perhaps it is only a matter of time before it is re-named “Partners’ Day” or “Special Person’s Day” or some such neutral term. We are told that this will enable those without fathers to be included and there have been calls to remove or re-name Mothers’ Day for similar reasons. As everyone knows, the plain truth is that no-one exists without either a mother or a father, so the call to re-name or remove these days is really about the nature of family and whether people are free to define family in their own way, without even the constraints found in the natural world. Someone will say, “We overcome the constraints of nature every time we take an aeroplane or turn on a light at night or a heater in winter.” But unless someone wishes to deny a special uniqueness to humankind (and those who believe in evolution ultimately have no reason to assume humans are special) there is a vast difference between overcoming the physical world and altering the design of some-thing which is so fundamental to ordered human existence: the family.

Families are basic to any stable society because they define secure relationships. They sanction some behaviours and rightly proscribe others, and they train their members to uphold these freedoms and limits for the good of others and the future, not just for “personal fulfilment.” (Which in its modern expression is often an excuse for selfish-ness.) This is the deep truth which underlies the 5th Commandment with its promise, “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exod 20:12). It’s also why the Devil hates families!

It is all the more important, then, that Christians resolve to build strong families and because this will often mean living in opposition to the world’s values, we should take careful note whenever the Bible gives us instruction. The two Psalms 127 & 128 do just that, where godly family relationships provide the proper context for work and its blessings, marriage, the blessedness of children, stability in the home and real hope for stability in the state for generations. Strong families build strong character, and strong national character is usually the fruit of more than one lifetime.

The imagery is rich and not too hard for us to grasp even though the language may be ancient. A man labours, sometimes painfully but so that he and his family may have sufficient around the table and to enjoy before God. Work that becomes an end in itself and takes away from family life is never truly fulfilling (127:2 & 128:2). In marriage, a wife builds together with her husband with her normal first focus as flourishing and facilitating the home (128:3a), and if for some reason this cannot be the case, it will surely require special prayer and wisdom. Children are not a nuisance or an interruption but a blessing and stewardship for a godly future. They therefore ought to be prayerfully sought and not selfishly delayed, and parents will give an account to God for how they were trained. Do they know how to fly “straight and true” like a good arrow and hold the faith in discussions? Do they themselves hope to build good families as a means of blessing to the whole nation(127:3-5; 128:3,6)?

It is true that in a fallen world, both our natural sinfulness and our social structures will make it hard to pursue godliness in family life but we should not give in to the values of the age; that will pass away! So if as Gospel people we understand that we live for eternity, we will not see godliness as a cost but an investment in our grand-children’s future and beyond. Peace be upon the “Israel of God!” (128:6 & Gal 6:16).

Who Am I? Who Are You?

[first published in the monthly congregational “Notes” for August 2018]

Hardly a week goes by without the news bringing us reports of new attempts to push political correctness into everyday speech and actions, not least in the area of gender and its perceived separation from issues of human sexuality. The latest push is for the use of gender-neutral pronouns—now called gender-inclusive to make them more acceptable (because ‘inclusion’ is a good thing). So the State government, building on a 2016 directive for public servants to avoid the use of terms such as ‘husband’ and ‘wife’, now prefers the general plural ‘they’ in all cases where previously ‘he’ or ‘she’ would have been used. From overseas we read of threats to penalize students who do not submit to this new linguistic fashion and university staff suspended or dismissed for not conforming. So now there is a whole range of suggested new pronouns that could be used such as ‘ze’, ’ey’,’ae,’ each with their own set of paradigms.

The stated rationale for such ‘New-speak’ is that we do not want to risk offending anyone by mis-identifying them or denying the reality of their self-perception. Here is the real issue: one of identity. “Who am I, really?” “Am I who others say I am, or who I say I am, or perhaps and more likely, or who I feel I am?” “Can anyone tell me who I am? “Today’s world cannot equip someone to answer those questions accurately and from a Christian & Biblical perspective we are not surprised at this inability, but merely changing one’s language will not make the problem go away. It will in the long run make it worse.

Biblically speaking, God created male and female because it was not good that Adam exist only in his maleness. Nor was it sufficient for Adam to reflect fully the Image of God that he should simply be given another male for company. And so God created Eve, and God (and Adam!!) declared this to be ‘very good’. Now, certainly this ‘good’ has suffered its own unique form of disruption because of the fall into sin, but our response must never be to declare that disruption to be good, normal or something to be encouraged, even as we would never declare any other post-fall disruption (e.g. death, disease, famine, sorrow, lies, power abuses etc.) good and something to be encouraged, especially as God has provided his own, sufficient, unique response to all sinfulness and its disrupting consequences: the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

It seems to us that the real issue with the present insistence on this contrived gender-neutral language is that it deliberately rejects maleness and femaleness as the created standard for human existence. It therefore deliberately rejects God as Creator and is just one more illustration of Romans 1:28-32. It is unarguable that since creation there are only X and Y chromosomes which combine to produce maleness or femaleness but this ‘revelation’ from nature is unhelpful to those who wish it were not so. And herein lies the issue: for one reason or another, people wish it were not so, just as in many other areas, people wish that God’s law did not apply to them. But it does.

Our response must be Gospel focused and clear, showing a love which is never proud, uncompassionate or smug. We may well encounter people who in their confusion have found passing comfort in the world’s assurance that it is ‘good’ that they are neither male nor female. We understand a desire to find acceptance and meaning. but we know that merely inventing new words will never answer the question, “Who am I?” That can only ever be answered by coming face to face with the transforming love of God in Jesus Christ. The only truly fulfilling answer to that question is given when someone can say, “Who am I? I am Someone for whom Christ lovingly died that I might be restored to Him in wholeness for eternity.” So, “Who are you?”

On Preparing for One’s Death (Part 3)

[first published in the monthly congregational Notes, for July, 2018.]

In Parts 1 & 2, we covered our relationship to God in Jesus Christ, how we should live, and our relationships with others. When we understand and embrace these truths, our preparation is essentially done—now go on and live to the glory of God, at peace and without fear! However there are things that will happen after our death which will involve others, and some forethought now may help them when the time comes.

Although wills are read after one dies, they are written beforehand. Having one implies that there is property to be distributed and because “the love of money is a root of all evil,” (1 Tim 6:10) they can be a source of great division and argument. Marriage being what it is, it seems to us that unless there are some special circumstances the great bulk of an estate will naturally go to the surviving spouse. If both should die, then the Bible has some counsel for us in Proverbs: “A good man leaves an inheritance to children’s children” (Prov. 3:22a). In other words, what we cannot take with us we should pass on but try to keep within the family. But just as we tithe in life, we could do so also in death. This is especially so if we have no near family to inherit. Is there a legacy or a bequest that we can give to further the cause of Christ? There are many secular agencies who do good things and clamour for the dollars of the dead but it seems to us that Christians could in good conscience limit themselves to organizations soundly based on the Bible, and that could also include one’s local congregation. Take professional advice, think carefully and provide prayerfully.

At some point it may be helpful to provide guidance to those who have to arrange or conduct the funeral and although some things will be cultural, the Christian should always want their funeral to be noticeably different from that for one of another faith or even no faith at all. This does not mean having to leave out elements that others expect but it does mean determining in advance that all that goes into a funeral will not undermine the Christian message and the assurance that it brings. So eulogies still can be spoken (or put in print) and the modern penchant for audio-visual tributes can be accommodated, but in a way that does not obscure or confuse the grace of God. A Christian will want Jesus set forth more than themselves and their faith rejoiced in far more than their works. The easiest way to set eulogies in their proper context is to contain them within a service which is clearly designed to be a time of worship first and remembrance second, and the easiest way to do that is to have the major portion of the service at one’s home church building. So, give thought to possible hymns of faith and comforting Bible passages but leave liberty for the living to find comfort in their own favourites too. After all, funerals are for the living not the dead.

These days, cremation is very much the social norm, perhaps because it is generally cheaper, or perhaps because people just don’t care. It was not always so. While we will be without the body for a time, there will be one in the resurrection. Certainly a cremated body will be no problem for God on that Day but if the option is available, the Christian may want to ponder how burial more powerfully picks up the Bible’s affirmation of the value of the body and the rich ‘sleep’ metaphor which is used to picture the death of the body pending the resurrection (eg John 11:11-13; 1Thess 4:14).

R.C. Sproul once wrote that he had no intention of dying; he simply planned to have a change of address!! On that, the world is full of superstition and wishful thinking; the Christian has an assurance grounded in the eternal faithfulness of God. Let that hope be seen in your life today and at the time of your death—whenever it may be.

On Preparing for One’s Death (Part 2)

[first published in the monthly congregational “Notes” for June, 2018]

Last time we considered the first step in preparing for death—making sure that our trust in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins is firmly grounded in his saving work on the cross. What then in the meantime? Death may be years away; only the Lord knows!! Jesus’ words on the end times are appropriate here too, “Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect” (Matt 24:44). Wesley said of the early Methodists, “Our people die well,” and that can be true of all believers.

What is it to be ready? We can draw some parallels from considering the plans we might make for a journey to another country. We have our passports and tickets, but what then? We may take some time to study something of our destination’s culture, laws and language. If we are in any way anxious about the journey, focusing on the destination lessens that fear and puts it all into perspective. In the same way, so long as we can hold the metaphor, though the ‘journey’ (i.e. the actual process of dying) may make us anxious and fearful, focusing on what little God has revealed about the destination will give us the grace to look beyond the moment of its coming (or the days, weeks, or even years) and into eternity with informed expectation. This is good preparation. What songs do the redeemed sing and what do the words mean? What is the character of the New Heaven and the New Earth? Well no-one has come back to tell us, but we can make a good start by learning what God has allowed us to see: Revelation 5:9-12; 14:1-5, and 15:32-4 for some songs, and Revelation chapters 21-22 for the character of eternity’s “daily life”. In all this, we know that the reality will be far, far more glorious and blessed than we can presently comprehend.

We cannot ‘pack’ because we will take nothing out of this life (Job 1:21) but that is the point; the best preparation for dying well is to live well, not materially but spiritually, keeping our faith fresh and our lives clean. We must desire holiness. It should not surprise us that a heart still cherishing some secret sin will be anxious about meeting the Saviour, whereas a heart that has struggled (even daily) against that same sin will look forward to meeting the One in whom there is final victory. If we stay close to the Lord we will not be able to forget His grace in saving us. In turn that will keep our heart filled with fresh thankfulness, and a truly thankful heart cannot be a fearful one and will want to be obedient. Hymn 435 in our morning hymnbook puts it this way at verse 3, “O to grace how great a debtor / Daily I’m constrained to be / Let that grace, now, like a fetter / Bind my wandering heart to Thee.” May we all sing “Amen!” to that!

The gospel is about being reconciled to God and living transformed lives, but as a corollary it should also move us towards wanting reconciliation with others. Sadly that might not always be possible as others may not (yet) be willing to be reconciled to us but we have nothing to lose in being willing to mend breaches—there will be none in heaven! The passage of time can help, but real reconciliation will require a mix of humility, confession, forgiveness and the willingness to recognise the ongoing work of God in our lives as well as in others. Even the best can struggle, but if we can take away any burdens of regret in those we leave behind, we should try to do so. It too is a gospel fruit. Paul and Barnabas split over a disagreement on the usefulness of John Mark for ministry. Yet years later, we read Paul saying to another younger man, Timothy, “Get Mark and bring him with you for he is useful to me for ministry.”(Acts 15:39 & 2 Tim 4:11). If an apostle can admit to being ‘wrong’, so can we. 

On Preparing for One’s Death (Part 1)

[First published in the monthly congregationl “Notes” for May, 2018.]

There is sometimes a superstitious fear regarding death, as if talking about it or even preparing for it might somehow hasten its coming! And it is because of this fear that many are uncomfortable in making wills or having simple discussions about possible funeral arrangements. If we fail to do these things out of fear, it is really just another aspect of selfishness, because it serves to make things far worse for loved ones when the time comes. Thankfully the Christian, whose faith is grounded in the grace and sovereignty of God, is delivered from all superstitious fears so we can talk about our arrangements in peace. While we do not know the number of our days, God does, and He is not superstitious!! If we can help take away the stress on those we love, we surely should want to do so.

But before we think of others and the decisions they may be called on to make when we die, we should give attention to preparing ourselves for death. This is not morbid, but wise. The first, most essential, preparation is to be sure that one is right with God. This is something no-one else can do for us because “each of us shall give an account of himself before God“ (Rom 14:12) and “it is appointed unto man once to die, and after that the judgment.” (Heb 9:27). The Bible is clear: after death there are no ‘last minute special’ offers which allow us the false comfort of thinking that we can live as we please now but repent after we have died. By then it will be too late. Neither are there rituals which the living might do for us, or payments they can make to anyone in order to advance our souls along some imagined pilgrimage to heaven, or to speed up final purification in an imaginary purgatory. When we die, our standing before God is eternally defined—it is too late to change. And, as none of us knows the time of our death, we should want to know right now whether our relationship with God is something that He will accept or whether it will result in rejection.

If we are honest, we know we have not lived as we should; we have sinned and come short of God’s righteous standard. Even though our sins might often be thought of as ‘civilised’ and ‘normal’, they are all offensive and because we are already sinners it is impossible for us to make any atonement for them. Thankfully Jesus’ name means, ‘Jehovah Saves,’ so in hearing this we are told that God has provided a way for our sins to be dealt with through him. We do not have to guess at a solution. And Jesus could not have been clearer when he said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). So there is a way to God when we die, an acceptable way, defined by Jesus who lived, died, rose again, ascended into heaven and who is coming again to receive those he has forgiven.

In the wonder of God’s grace, we are not required to perform any religious duties or pay anything in order to have a share in the forgiveness Jesus provides. All we are to ‘do’ (if we can use that word) is humbly confess the reality our sin to God, admit our un-worthiness, and receive and trust whole-heartedly in the declaration that on the cross Jesus has done for us what we could not do for ourselves.

As our faith grows we will find that increasingly we hate sin for the right reasons and cannot happily continue in it. We find a growing desire to know more of Christ and to be obedient to him even when it is costly. We find that we are now concerned for the spiritual state of others so we pray for them and their conversion. All this helps grow our faith, so that whether our death should be sudden or drawn out and maybe even painful, we will not fear it more than we love Jesus and will face it well.

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